I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize