How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
