Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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