another moral hangover. fuck.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
