So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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