i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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