So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
