don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
