no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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