Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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