I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
