Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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