Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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