i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize