I got chris browned last night
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
