I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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