So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
