look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
