I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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