he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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