Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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