"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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