Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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