I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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