Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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