Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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