69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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