Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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