Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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