but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
