I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
