She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
