New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
