Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
