I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
