Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He felt like a one man threesome
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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