put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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