Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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