Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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