I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
