Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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