no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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