Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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