just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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