Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I want a musical about memes.
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