I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
