in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
