The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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