As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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