So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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