So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i need to put some appletini on your dick
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
