Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
