pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
