Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
