just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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