Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
