super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
