cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
